


anywhere I go there you are

by emilia_kaisa



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Pining, Some Humor, mentions of injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: 2014/2015 season brought Javi new challenges, new realizations, and more prizes to win than he had been expecting.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 20
Kudos: 93





	anywhere I go there you are

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for the past few days and I quite like it, it was pretty fun to write and I hope you'll enjoy it too!  
> Title from "Mess is mine" by Vance Joy!

Javi considered waking up to watch the free skate, but when he glanced at his phone for the last time before going to sleep, he decided against it. The last few weeks had been tough for him, and the memory of Skate Canada was still stinging unpleasantly, so he figured that he deserved to sleep in and have a good rest. So he sent a good luck text to a few of his friends and put the phone on mute and drifted away to sleep.

* * *

When he woke up, his room was drowning in golden light suggesting that it was close to noon, and Javi groaned quietly, stretching his limbs and not feeling like getting up at all. His left knee cracked a little, sending a small arrow of pain, and he winced. It wasn't anything serious, just one of many little injuries haunting his body since forever. Yawning, he reached for the phone, blinking away the remains of sleep, and narrowed his eyes when he saw a bunch of notifications, definitely more that was due on a regular Sunday at 11.20am.

He swiped most of them away but stopped when he saw a series of texts from Nam.

_can you call me when you have time please????_

_i need to talk with someone and brian isnt here_

_please_

Alarmed, Javi sat up, feeling completely awake. He quickly calculated that it was close to midnight in Shanghai and he hesitated for a second, but decided to call anyway.

"Javi?"

"Nam, what's going on, are you okay? I'm sorry, I just woke up-"

"So you don't know." Nam sniffled and Javi felt his anxiety increasing. Nam was usually trying to stay in a bright mood no matter what results he got, and that behaviour was so unlike him Javi suspected it was about more than just the competition.

"I called you first thing, I didn't have a chance to see anything yet. What happened?"

"It's Yuzu." Nam said quietly and Javi's heart skipped a beat "He had a- there was a crash, in the warm-up, and it was, don't watch it, okay? And then I just, couldn't focus, and I can't it out of my head..."

"Hey, just calm down, everything will be fine." Javi babbled, getting out of the bed and pacing to the kitchen, his insides twisting "Are you okay, is Yuzu okay?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. It looked so bad, Javi." Nam sniffled and Javi swallowed with difficulty, and poured himself a glass of tap water. He tried to stay calm for Nam's sake, but deep inside he felt cold fingers of anxiety closing around his heart.

"Try not to think about it, okay? I-"

"I can't fall asleep. I'm so tired, but I just can't-"

Everything in Javi was screaming at him to find out if Yuzuru was fine, but he had to take care of Nam too. He was a sixteen year old boy, far away from his family and shaken, so Javi tried to distract him with changing the topic and telling the stupidest stories he could come up with in that state. He didn't know if it helped anything, but after a few minutes Nam's voice turned sleepy and he said his muffled goodbye and hang up.

When the call ended, Javi let out a deep breath and sat down slowly, trying to decide what to do. There was no point in calling Brian at that hour, and for sure there was no point in calling Yuzuru. They called each other only once, when Yuzuru had accidentally taken Javi's towel and wanted to return it. They were on good terms, though, really good, and now Javi was beyond worried, and recalling Nam's call, he had pretty terrible scenarios running through his head.

He drank the last sips of water and chewed on his lower lip as he opened his messaging up and chose Yuzuru's number. He had no idea what had happened, exactly, so it took him a moment of thinking before slowly typing a few lines.

_I've heard what happened, and I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself and rest, and I hope that you will be okay. I know you will be okay, please, stay safe. I'm waiting here to give you a hug._

He wasn't really hungry for some reason, but he tried to force in a toast as he opened his browser, and regretted that instantly. His social media was full of pictures and videos and after one glimpse Javi put the phone away, feeling his stomach turning.

Javi had seen crashes and injuries, he experienced them countless times himself, but it was never getting easier, to see someone he cared about in pain. So even those brief glimpses of his training mate so battered was making him feel uneasy, his chest aching numbly.

His gloomy train of thoughts was broken by Effie who came to bump against his calf, gently reminding him about food, and he sighed before leaning down and picking her up, hugging her against his chest.

"Maybe when he comes back we will invite him so you both can meet." he hummed against her soft fur "What do you say?"

Effie purred contentedly and Javi smiled a little, patting her head.

"So it's settled then."

* * *

Yuzuru didn't come back to Toronto.

It made sense, as Brian explained that Yuzuru's next assignment was NHK, and he could get all the care he needed in Japan. Still, Brian didn't know- or more likely didn't want to share- more, and Javi understood it. Still, he worried, because the only answer he got from Yuzuru was a simple thank you.

But no matter how much he worried, he had to push thoughts about Yuzuru to the back of his head. Rostelecom was almost there, and Javi had to do everything in his power to ensure himself a spot in the final. It was making him a bit nervous, his brain forming scenarios of a possible failure, but deep inside he knew he could do it, and that soon he would skate in front of his home crowd.

* * *

"Ahhh." Javi hissed, putting a bag of frozen cauliflower agsinst his hip and wincing at the coldness against his skin "I'm very stupid and can't even skate in a straight line." he informed Effie who peeked at him curiously from under the coffee table. 

He had had a rough day, so the moment he came back home he stretched on the sofa and tried to minimize the damage, but he knew he would feel it for some time. 

There were only two weeks left till the grand prix final, and now that he knew he was going, he felt both relieved and excited, and nervous. There was so much on his head those days, and of course the moment his attention slipped he had to tumble down and earn himself yet another nasty bruise. Well, at least now he had all the right to just stay on his sofa and stare at the TV and-

-his phone rang its happy melody and Javi reached for it quickly, and then almost dropped it when he saw who wanted to video chat with him. 

He stared at the name for a moment too long before accepting the call and he got an immediate close up at Yuzuru's face. For some reason Yuzuru looked surprised, eyes going wide and a corner of his mouth twitching as he stared at Javi silently. 

"Uh, hi." Javi chuckled, feeling a bit awkward, but also warm, something tingling in his chest pleasantly "How are you? How are you feeling?" 

"I'm-" Yuzuru hesitated, his voice a bit muffled "Okay." he said, but it sounded so miserable Javi's heart clenched for a painful moment. 

"You're going to the final, huh?" he said softly "So we will see each other soon."

"Yes. In Spain." Yuzuru nodded, his lips curling up in a small smile "I...and you, Javi? Okay?" 

"I'm good. Working hard, but I miss you here. Everyone misses you."

Yuzuru nodded again, slow and deliberate, eyes searching Javi's, and his lips parted around a word he chose not to finish. The silence grew, stretched like the distance between them, and usually Javi would rush to break it, but now, for some reason, he couldn't find words, so he just clutched his phone tightly and looked at Yuzuru's face, so familiar; and yet Javi couldn't get rid of a feeling that something wasn't quite right, that there was something new Javi couldn't grasp. 

"I'm sorry." Yuzuru said suddenly, wincing a little "I'm bad at this. Calling."

"You're doing great." Javi reassured him quickly "I'm happy you called. I was… I was worried, about you."

"Don't worry, Javi." Yuzuru said with a hint of go in his voice, and for some reason Javi's heart decided to flutter at that. 

"I need to go." Yuzuru sighed "I- I will see you, Javi." he added before hanging off abruptly and Javi blinked quickly, confused. He wasn’t sure what just happened, but he still felt kind of odd, as if there was something warm pressed against his chest. He sighed and rubbed his breastbone, staring into space absently, and thinking about the future. 

* * *

When Javi dropped on his hotel bed after yet another day of media responsibilities and practices, he was so exhausted he had honestly no idea how he was going to skate his short the next day.

It was thrilling, to have such an event organised in his country but at the same time he felt weight of expectations on his shoulders, pushing him down a little bit. He sighed, annoyed with himself, and decided to move his thoughts somewhere else- and for some reason, his thoughts ran straight to Yuzuru.

They hadn’t even had a chance to talk properly yet, both of them being busy with responsibilities and barely managed to exchange a quick hug before practice. And if Javi was being honest with himself, he had been thinking about Yuzuru a lot during the past weeks. Javi still couldn’t explain everything what was going through him, but since that awkward and clumsy video call nothing felt the same as before, and not exactly in the bad way. He couldn’t really understand what was off, but it wasn’t like it was bothering him. In the end, he had so many things on his head lately, his brain was just probably trying to deal with stress by sending some odd signals to his body. 

A quiet knock to the door was so unexpected Javi almost fell off the bed, but he collected himself quickly, got up and went to open.

“Knock knock.” Yuzuru smiled brightly, stepping into the room and falling into Javi’s arms immediately “Come for a hug!”

“Hey.” Javi laughed, one arm wrapping around Yuzuru’s waist and other tangling in his hair “Didn’t expect you in here tonight.”

“Can’t sleep. Stupid jet lag.” Yuzuru pouted, clearly trying to be funny, but Javi was quick to spot tired lines around his eyes, and his chest filled with something warm and tender. 

“Come here, we can chat for a little, maybe that will help?”

Yuzuru nodded, and after a few moments they both were on their backs on Javi’s comfortable bed, breathing deep and steady. 

“How are you doing?” Javi asked softly after a moment, turning to look at Yuzuru’s face “You’re feeling okay?”

“Good.” Yuzuru said quickly, but Javi didn’t miss the little grimace, a short twitch of his mouth. It was clear it wasn’t exactly the truth, but they never talked about their injuries, and Javi didn’t want to make him uncomfortable with more questions about that, so he decided to change the topic.

“So, you like Spain so far?”

“Yes.” Yuzuru smiled, relaxing a little “Saw only little, from car, but looks pretty. And everyone nice, like Javi.” 

“I’m glad.” Javi grinned, happy with how easily the conversation flew “You know, I’m a bit nervous, before tomorrow.”

“Ah.” Yuzuru smiled knowingly “Home stress?”

“Yes, home stress.” Javi chuckled, feeling warm, gentle wave rolling through his entire body “But it’s exciting, also.” 

“You will do good, Javi.” Yuzuru said softly, his eyes shining in the same way as during that odd video call “You need be next to me, on the podium.”

“I will try my best.” Javi laughed and Yuzuru nodded, glad and serious, and Javi couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and gently carding through Yuzuru’s hair. 

Yuzuru stilled for a second, something like surprised and anxiety flickering in his eyes, but then his eyelids fluttered and face smoothened, and he sighed, relaxing against the touch. 

It was nothing new, warm and friendly touches, but for Javi it felt oddly special, as if he was doing that for the very first time. For some reason he felt almost shy, which was kind of ridiculous after years of knowing each other, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Yuzuru’s face, a little paler than Javi remembered, with a fresh scar on his chin that made Javi’s heart ache. He looked so young, and too tired for his age, and Javi just wanted to make him smile, comfort him- so without thinking, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Yuzuru’s cheek.

Yuzuru inhaled sharply, a little gasp leaving his mouth, but didn’t react further, and Javi’s head started swimming. Yuzuru’s skin was warm and soft, and Javi just wanted to feel it again, so he kissed his cheek once more, his lips tingling and chest feeling tight, and he didn’t think, just moved up to kiss his forehead, bridge of his nose. 

Yuzuru didn’t say anything, but his breaths were quick and hot against Javi’s skin, and Javi felt a little bit dizzy with the foggy, warm pleasure flooding through his body. He didn’t know what was happening, and he didn’t want it to end, but then he placed a soft kiss on Yuzuru’s chin, and the bubble broke. 

Yuzuru gasped loudly and pushed him away, basically rolling off the bed and standing up, looking at Javi with wide eyes and horrified expression that made Javi’s blood freeze.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I go now.” Yuzuru mumbled, taking a step back, and that thing hurt Javi like nothing else before “Goodnight!”

“Yuzu, wait-”

But Yuzuru was out of the door in a second, and Javi groaned helplessly, covering his face with a pillow. 

Now, that was a real mess.

* * *

His short was pretty pathetic, bur Javi knew that he had no one to blame for that except of himself and his lack of ability to stay calm. The fact that he had barely slept at night didn’t help, but he was too busy calling himself idiot and imagining the worst scenarios to actually get some rest. On top of that Yuzuru was avoiding him, which wasn’t anything that unusual during a competition, but Javi couldn’t help but think that it was also connected to that evening they had spent together and Javi’s behaviour.

Javi really didn’t want to think about that, not now. He had so many things to worry about, and the last thing he needed right now was dealing with feelings realizations. So he forced his every brain cell to focus and his muscles to cooperate, and he clawed his way to the second step of the podium. 

Despite the sudden strain between them Yuzuru seemed to be honestly happy with the final result, his hug as warm as always, and Javi let himself think that maybe not everything was lost yet. But after the ceremony Yuzuru basically ran to the locker room and then sprinted out of it just as fast, and Javi slumped on the bench, his happiness clouding a little.

“Hey, don’t brood!” Max exclaimed, sitting next to him and wrapping his arm around Javi’s shoulders “You have silver, congrats!” 

“Thanks.” Javi smiled, squeezing Max’s shoulder “I’m just a little tired.”

“You can’t be, there is a party in your room!”

“What?”

“Me and Alex already planned, so hurry!” Max announced with a cheerful grin and Javi shook his head, smiling back.

“Well I can’t say no to that.”

* * *

He went through that gala practice a little hangover, but during the gala itself he was ready and excited, and even the last remains of tension between him and Yuzuru didn’t seem to matter when they were standing in front of the crowd, Javi’s crowd, and everything felt right in the world. Yuzuru seemed happy and honest, smiling at Javi as if he had forgiven him for his awkward actions. 

They didn’t really have time to talk, still, since Javi was swept by press right after the gala and he got to the banquet late and with his tie being an absolute disaster. 

“Oh my god, come here.” Maia muttered, reaching up and doing a quick fix “Now, ten times more handsome.” she smiled, patting his chest, and Alex almost spat out his champagne.

“Now I’m mildly uncomfortable.” he announced and Maia grinned at him smugly.

“Oh really? Or maybe you’re just-”

“I’m going for a refill, Javi, you want some?” Alex cut her off loudly, taking Javi’s glass without waiting for an answer. 

Javi blinked with confusion and Maia shrugged, sending him a smile before following Alex. Javi didn't even have a chance to think about it, because there was an arm sliding around his shoulders, shaking him a little. 

"Hello, little Spanish." Sergei grinned, a little smug, or maybe just tipsy "What's wrong?" 

"All is good." Javi said and Sergei rolled his eyes, not having any of it. 

"You know my English not good enough to play pretend." 

Javi chuckled shortly, shaking his head, and his eyes traveled across the room to find Yuzuru who was laughing with Japanese juniors, and Javi's heart skipped a beat. 

"Ah, Javi." Sergei sighed, patting his shoulder "Go."

"Huh?"

"Go get him." the Russian ordered, pushing him a little "You know I can never deal with your sad face."

"Hey, I'm not sad-" 

"Mhh, of course, so macho." Sergei snorted, patting Javi's shoulder one more time before taking a step back "Good luck!" 

Javi sighed, exasperated, and looked at Yuzuru again, stomach twisting. 

He couldn't do that. 

He was exhausted, physically and mentally, and it felt like the right time to go sleep and ignore all those weird thing happening inside him. He was being stupid, that was it, and Javi turned around, swallowing down the feeling of regret as he went to say goodnight to Alex and Maia and a few more people before leaving the crowded room. 

As he was walking toward the elevators, he loosened up his tie and sighed, with both relief and exhaustion. The last few days had been a roller-coaster but Javi knew he would have to think about the rest of the season soon, focus on Europeans and then worlds, and then hope for the best. 

"Javi?" 

He was just about to press the button when he heard his name, and he turned around slowly, heart thudding with anticipation. 

"Hi, Yuzu." he smiled "How are you?" 

“Good.” Yuzuru said, shifting from one leg to another awkwardly, tilting his head a little in wonder “You go already?”

“I’m a bit sleepy. Much happened.” Javi said, feeling ridiculously nervous which only led him to feeling dumb and maybe a little bit pathetic “I’m sorry.” he added and Yuzuru blinked with confusion.

“Huh?”

“For making things awkward, back then.” Javi explained, already regretting bringing that up, because Yuzuru winced, glancing at his shoes before looking at Javi again.

“It’s okay.” he said softly, his expression honest, and Javi breathed out with relief.

“Okay?”

“I say.” Yuzuru said with amusement, rolling his eyes and then looking at Javi with a warm smile “Have a good night, Javi.” he said, with maybe just a hint of melancholy, as if he wanted to say something more but decided against it. Their eyes met for a moment, and Javi felt that peculiar warmth again, but before he could decide what to do about it, Yuzuru nodded shortly and turned around, walking back to the banquet room.

“I will see you soon, yes?” Javi called after him and Yuzuru waved at him without stopping, but Javi felt calmly sure that everything was going to be okay.

* * *

It was okay, but nothing more than that. 

Yuzuru didn’t return to Toronto and Javi had to catch scrambles of information from the Internet and basically beg Brian for some updates, even though the coach didn’t know too much himself. Yuzuru was terrible at returning his texts and Javi understood that, but it didn’t mean he was happy about it. And somewhere between training and being nervous for Europeans and feeling lonely and sleep deprived, he managed to kind of analyze his feelings and get down to three main possibilities he wrote down and put on his fridge, and then hid in a drawer in case someone would come pay him a visit for some reason.

1) you always wanted a younger brother and here you go

2) you’re over-stressed and making up some non-existing non-brotherly feelings

3) ~~you’re in lo you’re falli~~ there are true feelings

The clarity in which option was the correct one came to him in Stockholm, when he was very tipsy- or maybe slightly drunk- and he had that terrible moment of clarity people can experience when they weren’t sober, when everything seemed so obvious it was painful and bringing to the verge of tears. 

Javi woke up the next day way too early, with a heavy head and a feeling of some numb resignation settled inside his chest. 

Honestly, he should have realized it sooner. But the last thing Javi needed in life was catching feelings for his teammate, his competitor for fucks sake, who was clearly not interested in any heart business and definitely not interested in Javi. Which was totally understandable and totally fine, but Javi hated that miserable little thing growing inside him. Usually when he liked someone, he knew what to do. He was good at it, showing his interest, working towards something more. Now, he couldn’t do it. Yuzuru was off- limits, and Barcelona was a perfect proof of that. 

Javi sighed and punched his pillow weakly before closing his eyes in a hopeless attempt to catch some sleep. He couldn’t wait for worlds to come and then be over with hopefully a decent result, and then go home and pray for all of that to fade away in the warm summer sun.

* * *

Javi honestly couldn’t believe what he was seeing, but the big one next to his name was very, very real. 

“Good job, good job.” Brian kept on repeating as they walked to the green room, his hand patting Javi’s back and keeping him in reality. 

Javi had been hoping he could end up on the podium, but gold? That sounded insane, but when Javi stepped into the green room he realized that the insanity was true, because there was Yuzuru, walking towards him with open arms and ducked head, as if he wanted to hide his face. 

“Hey.” Javi breathed out, his body acting on the instinct as he took Yuzuru in his arms, nose brushing against his temple “You did so good.”

“You do better.” Yuzuru mumbled, his voice tight “I’m happy for you, Javi. Real happy.”

Javi knew that he was being honest, but he could hear tears and a trace of regret in Yuzuru's voice, and Javi just wanted to shelter him from the noise around and exhaustion radiating from his body, and disappointment visible in his wet eyes. 

“You know that in my heart you’re always a winner, right?”

He didn’t think when he said that, not really, the words escaping his mouth as his fingers curled in Yuzuru’s hair comfortingly, and suddenly he knew that it was the closest to the confession he could ever allow himself to make, and the thought was so bittersweet it made his chest hurt. So for one simple moment he allowed himself to get lost in that, in a gentle heartache that wasn’t anyone’s fault. 

* * *

Seriously, Javi was going to murder someone. Well, he would if he had any idea who was responsible for turning Nam into a happy alcohol infused sponge that was now hanging off of Javi’s shoulder and singing happily, words so slurred there was no way of understanding him. 

Javi wasn’t a saint, he would lie if he said he had never had a beer as a teen, but that was a little bit too much.

“Okay, I will get you out of here before Brian notices, we don’t want that, right?”

“Briaaaan!” Nam sang, eyes shining with delight “Where is he?”

“I don’t know, hopefully not in this elevator.” Javi chuckled, dragging him inside and pressing the button with Nam’s floor “You’re holding on?”

“Mhhh.” Nam hummed, leaning his head on Javi’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his neck “You’re the best. I love you.”

“Love you too, hermano.” Javi laughed, ruffling his hair.

Despite playing an emergency babysitter, he was having a good night. The gala and banquet were fine, and Yuzuru was friendly and not putting any distance, which was a big relief and was making Javi hope that everything was going to turn out okay. It wasn’t the first time he had feelings for someone who didn’t want him back, he just needed a bit of time and all was going to get back to normal, or at least that was what he was telling himself.

He managed to take Nam to his room without any adventures, helped him get rid of his shoes and tie and found him a bottle of water for the morning. When he left the room he wondered if he should go back down for the party, but after a moment he decided against it. He was pretty tired, the competition and whole season had been intense, and going to sleep was probably the better choice. 

He went two floors up, searching his pockets for his keycard, and he was so occupied with that he almost didn’t notice someone waiting by his door until he was almost there. 

“Oh, hey, Yuzu, hi.” he stuttered awkwardly after almost bumping into him “What are you doing here?”

“Saw you with Nam and wanted to check.” Yuzuru explained, smiling a little. He had taken his jacket off and was holding it in his hands now, and Javi had no idea where his tie was, but he looked calm and relaxed, and Javi was glad, and even managed to ignore those little sparks inside his chest. 

“He got a little bit overboard with wine.” Javi chuckled, playing it cool “You, uhm, want to come in?” he asked, planning to avoid possible awkward silence, and Yuzuru nodded silently, smile turning soft, and Javi swallowed hard before opening the door. 

His room was a bit of a mess, but the bed looked decent, and Javi’s throat went a little bit dry at the thought that he would have to offer that as a sitting place. He still didn’t know why Yuzuru was there, and it was making him a little nervous, but at the same time he was feeling almost giddy. He just liked being in Yuzuru’s company, despite everything, and he was just glad things weren’t awkward.

“Have a seat, do you want something to drink?”

“Water, if it okay?”

“Sure.” Javi smiled, fetching two bottles of mineral water from the fridge and going to sit next to Yuzuru “Here.”

“Thank you.” Yuzuru smiled, taking a few short sips before putting the bottle away and looking at Javi deliberately “Javi?”

“Yeah?”

“You know there is world team trophy later, yes?”

"Yes." Javi confirmed, a little confused, and Yuzuru nodded slowly before breaking into a wide smile. 

"I talk with some people today and they think it can be nice, if you come. A special guest?" 

"Oh." Javi blinked quickly, for some reason feeling disappointed "Well that's nice, if they only want to invite me, that would be cool." 

"Cool." Yuzuru smiled, a bit absent, and his gaze darted away for a moment, expression turning thoughtful "We can have lunch."

"Now?" Javi asked with confusion and Yuzuru snorted, looking at him again. 

"In Japan. If you come." 

"Oh, yes. Would love to."

Yuzuru nodded again, and for a moment they just sat in silence, looking at each other, and Javi felt his heart growing with fondness and longing. 

"Javi." Yuzuru whispered, mood shifting suddenly, eyes turning thoughtful "You look at me like that again." 

"Like what?" Javi asked before clamping his mouth shut, and Yuzuru tilted his head a little, nose scrunching for a second. 

"Like in Spain."

"Oh." Javi gulped, his ears starting to burn as he realized he had been caught "I, I'm, I'm sorry I-" 

"Javi." Yuzuru muttered, warm, and he reached to take Javi's face in his small hands. Javi gasped quietly, Yuzuru's skin a bit cool but feeling electrifying, and Javi had no idea how to react. 

Yuzuru, on the other hand, seemed to have a plan. 

Slowly, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Javi's brow, to his temple, next to his ear, one hand sliding down his neck in a gentle caress before grasping the collar of his shirt. 

"Oh." Javi sighed and Yuzuru giggled nervously, drawing back and looking at him with big, shining eyes. 

"Sorry I wait so long." he murmured, bringing one hand to card through Javi's curls "Not too late?" he asked, a little anxious, and Javi smiled, feeling happiness filling him with a million of fluttering butterflies. 

"No." he whispered, reaching to cup Yuzuru's cheek and gently pulling him closer "You have perfect timing."

"This-is-nice." Yuzuru mumbled in between little kisses he was pressing against Javi's lips, and Javi could only agree, his arm circling around Yuzuru's waist to keep him close. 

"I agree." he hummed, tugging at Yuzuru's hair to tilt his head a little, so he could kiss his neck "Better than sleep, don't you think-" 

"Yes. Agree." Yuzuru sighed, eyes foggy with warm pleasure as he smiled down at Javi, fingers splayed on Javi's naked chest. 

It was probably well past midnight but they weren't tired, too busy kissing and talking in between, slowly finding out where exactly they were standing. They didn't really go much past admitting that there were definitely more than friendly feelings for each other, but Javi was totally fine with that for now. Because now Yuzuru was pressed against his chest, wearing Javi's clothes and smelling like Javi's shampoo, and everything was pretty perfect. 

But then the perfection was disturbed by an urgent knocking to the door. 

"Are you expecting guests." Yuzuru muttered, nipping on Javi's jaw, making him gasp quietly. 

"Nope. We can just ignor-" 

"Javiiiiii." they both heard a miserable whine coming from behind the door and Yuzuru flinched, pulling back and looking at Javi with expression half concerned and half amused. 

"I think you should get it." he said and Javi sighed, sitting up. 

"I know. You don't mind?" 

"He would be first to know anyway, I feel." 

Javi nodded, giving him a smile before walking to open the door. 

"Hey Nam, you alright?" 

"Nu." Nam said, and he looked kind of funny, wrapped in the blanket and looking half asleep and still a bit drunk "My room is scary. So I'm here." he announced, stepping inside and walking towards the bed "Hi Yuzu, is your room scary too?" he mumbled before flopping face down in the middle of the mattress, and Javi had to bite on his lower lip not to laugh. 

He quietly got back to bed, and over Nam's head he met Yuzuru's eyes and his warm, wide smile. 

"So, is your room scary too?" Javi asked and Yuzuru chuckled quietly, reaching to tug at Javi's curls. 

"Without you, yes." he said sheepishly and Javi couldn't believe that it was so easy, all of the sudden. 

"Will you go for a date with me tomorrow?" he asked and Yuzuru grinned, guiding his fingers down to Javi's lips before retreating his hand, sighing quietly. 

"Yes." Yuzuru said "And Javi?" 

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." Yuzuru whispered before closing his eyes and nuzzling into the pillow, face relaxing. 

Javi smiled, and closed his eyes as well, and thought the whole season of struggle turned out to be worth it, in the end. 

**Author's Note:**

> The draft for this fic was titled 'a mess' haha i hope you enjoyed 🙈❤️


End file.
